Not Vegas

One of my co-workers (I will call her CW) wants me to go on vacation with her. I don't know why. We have absolutely nothing in common. Nothing. For God sakes, she drinks Miller Lite. How boring is that! She keeps mentioning Vegas and I really would love to go there but not with her. She is a very nice woman, she has a great smile, but no fun. I agreed to go with her to a Packer game last fall. It was awful. The game was great, the tailgating was great, but my experience with her - awful.

It started when she was 2 hours late to pick me up. I took the afternoon off of work because we were supposed to leave at 12:30 - this was a Monday night football game. We were going to stop for lunch halfway between Milwaukee and Green Bay so we would be ready for some serious drinking. She showed up at my house at 2:30. Plus we had to stop at her bank, gas station, and the post office. And not just any post office, it had to be the 24-hour one by the airport because her local one loses her mail. Plus she forgot the maps so we had to go back to her house. So now we're stuck in the start of rush hour and we have to hurry because the plan was to get to our hotel, check in, and get on their bus to the stadium in order to avoid the congestion and having to drive around in an area we are not familiar with.

We checked in to our hotel and the bus was leaving in 5 minutes. 5 MINUTES! I have to get my snow pants on and my heavy winter gear. As we got dressed I noticed that her stuff was packed in grocery bags. She had off all day and she still couldn't find the time to pack, not to mention, bank, gas, mail... but I digress. We ran to the bus in the nick of time. As the drivers took roll call, we waited with a group of 6 guys. They were funny, flirty, and cute. She refused to respond and kept her head down. No wonder she never gets a date. Did I mention we had noting in common?

We got to the game where we were meeting some of her friends. I know these guys and they are a blast. She forgot the map and looks at me like what should we do??? I tell her to call them on her cell phone. She gets her phone out and dials. She must not have the network following her around because her phone kept cutting her off. She would connect and the call would drop within the first 30 seconds. So she kept redialing. Every time she connected she would whine about the previous dropped call. I finally said, "JUST ASK THEM WHERE THEY ARE!!" She got the information, they told her they were in the parking lot of the curling club. OK. So now she's whining because she doesn't know where the curling club is. I walked up to a guy parking cars and asked. He pointed directly across the street! I'm thinking duh. So there they were, steaks grilling and bloody marys flowing. Yippee!

As we got introduced to some new people in the party I felt an immediate sense of belonging. CW's friend, John handed me a plate full of steak, I headed over to a woman I just met and asked her if I could sit down. She cleared me a place and I proceeded to eat..I was starving since we couldn't stop for lunch. When John handed CW her steak she stood there looking at me whining about where she was going to sit. Did I mention that she can't make decisions? Her other friend, Bill pulled up a chair for her-there were four empty ones so I don't understand why this was so difficult. When I finished eating, I thanked John for the steak and complimented him on how good it was. CW whined, "My steak was cold cuz it took me so long to find some place to sit." Did I mention that she is a complainer?

After we ate we headed into Lambeau. Something happens when you walk in. The energy and electricity flow and you enter a euphoric state of camaraderie with everyone else there. You are even one with the Minnesota fans, believe it or not. CW is now worried...what if we get separated? I reminded her that her seat number is on her ticket and I would end up right next to her. Geez. If you've never been to Lambeau there's one thing you have to be prepared for. You are sitting on steel bleachers. And since more than half of America is very fat, chances are that your little piece of prime real estate containing your seat number will get swallowed up like a twinkie at a fat farm if you don't stake a claim. So we rent the stadium buddies for $5. I prefer renting them to bringing your own because when the game is over you can just get up and walk away. CW is now complaining about the 5 bucks. Did I mention that she never has any money?

So we get to the seats, plop down the stadium buddies over the seat numbers and we're all set. We have four Minnesota fans in front of us and Packer fans all around. Then Brett Favre takes the field. This has the same effect as the Pope entering the church at the beginning of mass. I can hardly contain myself I'm so excited. And the game begins. We trade jabs with the Minnesota people along with some high-fives and some body slamming just for fun. It was even a little on the flirty side. CW just sat there. Everyone is standing, jumping, clapping, cheering, and she just sat there. I started to wonder why she wanted to come. Did she understand football? Not that I'm an expert but I know enough to blend in with the 'fan'atics. I asked her if she was having a good time. All she said was, "It's so crowded and cramped." I joked that it was a good thing, it was keeping us all warm. I think I already mentioned the complainer thing.

We got back to the bus in time and headed back to the hotel. I asked her if she wanted to go to the bar, she said no. OK so all the Packer fans are in the bar and you want to go to bed. Arrrghhh. I can roll with it. I said that it's fine, we'll get up and head to the fitness center, swim a few laps and hit the hot tub. She forgot her swimsuit. Now it was her idea to bring swimsuits. She said she couldn't find hers and kind of ran out of time to look for it. She took the entire day off today! I wondered what she did with all that time.

I knew CW was not a morning person like I am, so I let her sleep, I put on my running gear, grabbed my swimsuit and headed to the fitness center. I ran for 45 minutes, swam laps, grabbed a cup of coffee and soaked in the hot tub. By the time I got back to the room she was getting out of the shower. Perfect timing. I got in the shower and we were off to breakfast by 10.

We headed to the casino in Green Bay to meet up with John and Richie. I am not a gambler. I thought CW was because she really wants to go to Vegas and she really wanted to go to the casino today. I am usually up for an adventure so I thought fine. We got there and she stood there not knowing what to do. Richie turned her by the shoulders and set her down in front of a machine. I think I mentioned the inability to make a decision thing. John was playing some card game and I asked him if it would be OK if I watched. He was gracious enough to take the time to explain it to me so I started to play. CW came to watch. I asked her if she wanted to play and she said she didn't know. I wondered if this was the money thing again.

We left a few hours later and headed home. I really did have a good time but CW wasn't the reason. It's hard not to have fun at Lambeau. And I really believe where ever you go you can make your own fun. But that doesn't mean I am going to go to Vegas with her.