Name that driver

I usually leave for work at 5:30 AM so the number of cars on the road is minimal. And it's dark so they aren't that noticeable. Today I went to work later, I left the house at 6:30. Not only is the sun up, but the number of cars on the road has considerably increased. After the third pick-up truck passed me I realized I was naming them as they went by. Realization turns into a game of name that driver. So here we go.......

• Teal (yes, teal, not green) Chevy S10 with black, gray, and white geometric shapes in the custom paint job, driver had gel in his hair. Name: GAYBOY.
• Black Isuzu Hombre with a white tool box built into the truck bed, driver was going 18 miles over the speed limit until he got to a curve where he was going 20 under. Name: PUSSY.
• Rusted out to the point where I think it was blue Dodge Ram with naked lady silhouette mudflaps and a confederate flag painted on the tail gate. Note: the tailgate had no rust, driver wearing a flannel shirt and smoking a cigarette. Name: RACIST REDNECK.
• White Toyota Rav4, male driver has flat-top crew cut hair. Oops. It's a female! Name: DYKEMOBILE.
• Maroon Nissan Frontier with the dopey handle-bar looking things coming out of the roof to give it that functional appeal-what function they would serve is beyond me, driver young, blond, baby-face who looked like he couldn't afford a bicycle let alone a car. Probably dropped out of at least two colleges from too much partying. Name: LOSER MAMASBOY.
• Bright yellow Hummer, driver is on a cell phone. Name: NO BALLS. Not to be confused with a 50-something male in a corvette whose name is ITS REALLY SMALL.