Happy Festivus!

Funny how some things in pop culture stick around for a long time.  Like the concept of Festivus. The whole absurd idea of a festivus pole and the airing of grievances that the fake holiday is known for, is really a fun concept. So I think it's time to continue that tradition with a list of my own.

For 2013, here is my list of grievances:

• People who comment on Facebook posts without actually reading said posts. They make themselves look like fools making me have to fight the urge to correct their idiotic statements.
• Speaking of Facebook, people who share tons of junky pages of crap that they like. Doesn't anybody have personal status updates any more? I like knowing what you are up to today.(I gotta stop doing this too!)
• The new on-off ramp from I-94 that was completed recently and is practically in my back yard which makes it impossible to get in and out of my neighborhood now.
• Grocery shoppers who don't know the difference between the express self-service lanes and the full self-service lanes. The store had to actually put up signs that say '20+ items' in the full self-service lanes for those who do not have a full grasp of the English language.
• People who do not have a full grasp of the English language.
• Doctors' offices where the staff is proud of themselves for the doctor "ONLY being 45 minutes behind today". Isn't that something they should be ashamed of?
• Pinterest. It makes me feel inadequate because I know I am never going to use all those ideas I pinned.

Thank you Jerry Seinfeld, however I never really thought you were all that funny. I think this might become a new tradition for me. I feel so much better now that I've aired my grievances.

Happy Festivus!

A career in what?!

Relaxing on a sofa in The Yard at the Iron Horse, there's a conversation next to us that goes like this:
"I got that great new job, pending the background check which should not be a problem. Then the guy calls me to say there's a domestic dispute on my record. I tell him it's from an argument with an old girlfriend but the charges were dropped - it was no big deal."  The dude then goes on to say, "If they rescind the job offer I am going to kill that bitch." 

Too bad he can't hear himself. I wonder what kind of job it was.

Senseless crap

I got this email from an acquaintance, someone I knew from a group I used to belong to. Once I read it, I laughed. I first thought how pathetic it was that someone I hardly knew had to dig me up from her archives just to come up with 10 emails. (Yes, like the instructions say to do, there were exactly 10 email addresses that got this.) Then I thought about how absurd it is that anyone believes these stupid chain emails. I considered the source, and it made more sense. The woman who sent this is not the brightest crayon in the box.

As I went to hit the ‘delete’ button it occurred to me that these types of emails are really better addressed to one’s enemies than friends. Wouldn’t that make more sense if one believed this crap? Here it is in its original form, I wanted to correct all the grammar, spelling and punctuation but I chose to leave it in the moronic format as delivered. . .

Read Alone...... Especially the Poem. I believe whatever is in store for us will be for us. The poem is very true, unfortunately. Make sure you read the poem!

CASE 1: Kelly Sedey had one wish, for her boyfriend of three years, David Marsden, to propose to her. Then one day when she was out to lunch David proposed! She accepted, but then had to leave because she had a meeting in 20 min. When she got to her office, she noticed on her computer she had some e-mail's. She checked it, the usual stuff from herfriends, but then she saw one that she had never gotten before.It was this poem. She simply deleted it without even reading all of it.BIG MISTAKE! Later that evening, she received a phone call from the police.It was about DAVID! He had been in an accident with an 18 wheeler. He didn't survive!

CASE 2: Take Katie Robinson She received this poem and being the believer that she was she sent it to a few of her friends but didn't have enough e-mail addresses to send out the full 5 that you must. Three days later, Katie went to a masquerade ball. Later that night when she left to get to her car, she was killed in that spot by a hit-and-run drunk driver.

CASE 3: Richard S. Willis sent this poem out within 45 minutes of reading it. Not even 4 hours later walking along the street to his new job interview with a really big company, when he ran into Cynthia Bell, his secret love for 5 years. Cynthia came up to him and told him of her passionate crush on him that she had had for 2 years. Three days later, he proposed to her and they got married. Cynthia and Richard are still married with three children, happy as ever!

This is the poem:
Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
'Here's a telegram sir,' 'Jim died today.'
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.You must send this on in 3 hours after reading the letter to 10 other people. If you do this, you will receive unbelievably good luck. *NOTE* the more people that you send this to, the better luck you will have. SMILE, even through your tears!

Observation of the Day

As I walk through the office this morning, the first thing I see as I enter the department is Dynae's birthday balloons brightly surrounding her cubicle. I've been looking at these balloons since last week Wednesday. I did the appropriate thing that day and wished her a happy birthday. Her response was, "Thank you but my birthday isn't until Sunday." Under my breath I am saying, "Not that I plan on speaking to you on this Sunday (or any Sunday for that matter), but I digress." It was implied that since it was Thanksgiving week last week the balloons on Wednesday were logical. Duh. And if it weren't already implied, I don't care what day her actual birthday was.

But here we are, more than a week after the birthday balloons went up and the decorations are becoming old. That's when the observation hit me. Since Dynae is a 20-something, the birthday balloons stay up for a week. If the birthday person was 30-something, the balloons would come down the next day. If the birthday person was 40-something, the balloons wouldn't make it till the end of the first day. If the birthday person was 50-something, they would tear balloons down the moment they went up. And if the birthday person was 60-something, they wish someone would care enough to realize that they are having another birthday and decorate with balloons. And we come full circle on the life of a cubicle birthday balloon.