The kids came to open up the cards that keep coming. So we counted up the cash and discussed where the donations need to be sent. I suggested that we wait since cards keep coming in. Adam wants to pay the funeral bill today. The funeral home hasn't processed the bill yet so he has to wait. I think everyone is getting antsy. They stayed at their house last night without incident. This was a good thing. If there can be a good thing.
Over the last few days we have been looking for support groups, answers, things to help us through. There is not much available. And it seems so complicated anyway. No one is thinking straight.
I decided to try and get my shit together and actually cook a dinner. I made lasagne. Through the long process of cooking, I discovered that keeping busy was really helpful. So I made creme brulee as well. And the ritual of sitting down to a nice dinner in my kitchen was calming.
Jeff is concerned since I cannot sleep without sleep aids. He needs to cut me some slack. I need the sleep, it's the only time I can feel no pain.
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