Ten on Tuesday

10 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Have more patience with my husband.
2. Be more thrifty with my money.
3. Run the Milwaukee Marathon.
4. Get my Etsy sales moving.
5. Clean out my closets.
6. Donate more, recycle more (see #5).
7. Work on improving my writing skills.
8. Use my dining room for what is was meant for.
9. Finish the things I started (like painting the spare room).
10. Take a photography class.

http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/

Time to get it together

I've been having a real hard time with Christmas. All I could think of was last year's tree with the Baby's First Christmas stocking hanging on the top of the tree...followed by a photo of that stocking at the baby's funeral. Those two images are so intertwined that I cannot separate them so there is no joy in the upcoming holiday. I have no desire for a tree, for holiday shopping, for cookie baking, for decorating, for all the things that I enjoyed during the Christmas season.

Then Adam posted his comment on Facebook about how he misses Stephen so much and that he knows he would have really liked the snow. That comment was a real slap in the face for me. It was a reminder that others were hurting more than me and that I should be helping hold them up instead of being a burden on everyone around me as a wallow in my own sadness. So I'm suking it up and going shopping. The cookie dough is in the fridge.

Thank you Adam for straightening me out, I really needed the kick in the ass.

Iron Cupcake - Pro

Jen volunteered at the Professional Edition of Iron Cupcake which was held at the Milwaukee Art Museum. She is a member of the Art Museum so she gets two free tickets to all events. Since she was working the event, she gave us her two free tickets. When you get in you get two ballots, one for picking your favorite cupcake art and your favorite food cupcake. There was a bar, a coffee shop, a band, a DJ and the most beautiful cupcakes ever. There were quite a few professional cake bakers with a wonderful variety of cupcakes to sample. The tough thing was figuring out where to start.

We walked from table to table just looking at how beautiful the cupcakes were decorated. Then we got a glass of wine and a plate and went back to pick out some samples to try. Before I knew it I had more cupcakes than plate. So we sat down and tried them all. It was hard to pick out a favorite since they were all so good. In the end we critiqued them for how they looked as well as taste to decide who gets our vote.

After we finished the cupcakes we went to the Warhol exhibit and enjoyed the art. It felt good to take the time to stop and check out Warhol's work in such a relaxed atmosphere. Considering Christmas is right around the corner, it felt good to be removed from the hustle bustle of the season. After the exhibit, there was free food for all attendees. Talk about a nice evening at the right price, even if we had to pay the $8 per person charge to get in, this would be worth every cent.

Sonoma trip, day 4

Today is the day I get to go the the Charles M Schulz Museum. It's one of those things that would be on my bucket list if I had one. I love the Peanuts characters and I am so glad that I get to see the museum. We got there when it opened at 10 and stayed for two hours. It's not very large, but it was pretty interesting to me. The first floor was dedicated to the history of Schulz and his comics and the other half was about the history of all comics. So there was more to see besides just good ol' Charlie Brown. The second floor of the museum was a hands on cartoon design lab and Charles M Schulz's office was moved into the space. There was also a section on the different toys made from the characters over the years. Outside there was a yard with a kite eating tree, and various life-sized characters. After we went through the gift shop we walked over to the Warm Puppy Cafe where there was an ice rink that Schulz just loved.

It was a good clean fun way to spend the morning before an afternoon of more wine tasting. We drove to the Francis Ford Coppola Winery for our first tasting. It was pretty cool in the tasting room because there were 5 Oscars on a shelf above the wines. We bought more wine then took some time to eat the sandwiches we packed that we bought at the deli last night. We drove from town to town and stopped at Simi Winery. They staff was a little pushy but we did find one bottle worth purchasing before we high-tailed it out of there. From there we stopped at Wine Country Chocolates, then BR Cohn Winery. BR Cohn is the manager of the Doobie Brothers so of course he had a line called Doobie Reds. They were quite pricey at $480 for the 12-bottle collection. I suppose when you divide it up by the 12 bottles it's not that bad considering we paid $50 for some wines. BR Cohn also had a line of vinegars and oils that we tried and ended up purchasing. After that, we stopped at Vella Cheese factory for some California cheeses to take home.

We ended the day with a stop at Johnny Garlic's which is one of Guy Fieri's restaurants. The place was filled with tourists and surprisingly, the food was pretty good. I expected it to be something like that awful TGIF that Fieri hawks on television commercials but it was much better than that.

Sonoma trip, day 3

We had some coffee and scones at the hotel before we hopped in the car for a ride back to San Francisco. This time crossing the Golden Gate bridge meant a $6 toll. The view was worth it. We parked at Fisherman's Wharf, got tickets to Alcatraz and immediately got on the ferry to the island. The day was overcast and chilly and on the island the weather seems much more intense so the first thing to do was get Jeff a hat. There was no reason for him to be uncomfortably cold while we were touring the prison. It is cold and dank in there on a nice day so it was definitely a necessary purchase.


We took the walk up to the top of the hill where the tour started. The staff does warn you that it's equivalent to walking up 13 flights of steps so we did have to stop so Jeff could catch his breath, even in good health his heart disease is sometimes apparent. We got our headphones and started through the tour. There is so much history on this one little island and it is such an interesting story that a few hours go by pretty rapidly. We finished the walking tour then took a walk through the part of the island that is normally closed. Since we were there off season, the birds were not migrating to the island so they could open up many of the paths that were normally closed to the public.

After Alcatraz we took the ferry back to Fisherman's Wharf for a late lunch at Alioto's Fish Grotto. Jeff was in seafood heaven. As we sat at our table, we watched the seal frolick in the water right outside of our window. Another first, I had never seen seals outside of a zoo before. They were beautiful creatures.

It was raining making it tough to walk the piers so we stopped at the Harley Davidson store and bought some San Francisco patches, then we went to the Hard Rock Cafe so I could add another guitar pin to my collection. We got out of San Francisco a little late so we got stuck in some rush hour traffic making the trek back to Rohnert Park somewhat longer. Since we were both exhausted from another day outdoors, we stopped at the Pacfic Market for some deli sandwiches and snacks to finish out the day.

Sonoma trip, day 2

The first thing to do this morning was to get coffee and get the football picks in. So I logged on to espn.com for the line and weather.com to check the temperature back home. It was 9 in Milwaukee and 46 in Santa Rosa. I'll take the 46. We got off the computer and headed in to downtown Santa Rosa for breakfast. We walked Main Street until we found a cute little place called Arrigoni's Deli. The staff was so friendly and the breakfast was good. We lingered over coffed then took a walk past Tex Wasabi's and a bunch of shops that had life sized Snoopys. They were all over town - it reminded me of the beasties that were placed all over downtown Milwaukee a few years back.

After the walk we headed to Bodega Bay. It was a gorgeous ride along the Russian River. The landscape was filled with charming little homes nestled between large vineyards and wineries. The trees were still full of green leaves, no sign of Wisconsin winter conditions here. Even though the local people thought it was unseasonably cold, it was very pleasant to us. As we rode the highway, I saw lemon trees loaded with ripe lemons. I've seen many orange trees when I stayed with my brother in Phoenix and the tropical fruit trees in Cancun and Maui but this is the first time I saw a lemon tree up close and in person. It was beautiful. We stopped at the Bodega travel booth for more information then drove back up the coast to the location where Alfred Hitchcock filmed The Birds. We stopped and took some photos before we got back into the car.

Heading out of Bodega, we stopped where the Russian River meets the Pacific. The scenery was gorgeous no matter which direction we were heading. Jeff mentioned how wonderful the ride would be on a motorcycle. Between the hills and the winding roads, it would be pretty incredible but considering the cool temperature, I was happy enough to be in a car today.
We kept driving until we got to Armstrong Redwoods State Natural Reserve.

We parked and took a nice walk through the redwoods. The size of these trees was amazing. It was a nice day to take a walk and we were really glad we took the time to see it.

After the scenic drive, we stopped at a few wineries along the way. We started at La Crema where we found some really good Pinot Noir. Then we headed to Kendall-Jackson and tried the exclusive wines they had. We bought more wine there. We learned the best way to transport wine back home so we bought an empty case to fill along the trip. We will check the box as luggage and mark it as fragile. The 15 dollar bag fee from the airline for all the wine is much more economical than shipping at each winery. So the nice people at Kendall-Jackson put our La Crema in the case and loaded it into our car for us.

After a long day on the road we went back to the hotel to relax a little then we walked over to the bar across the parking lot to watch the football game. We had forgotten that the time change would have an effect so getting to the bar at 8 meant the game was in the last quarter! Oh well, we still ordered a drink and appetizer and sat back until the game was over. It was a nice way to finish the day.

Sonoma trip, day 1

After all the commotion of getting out of town before the blizzard, I'm feeling pretty relaxed. As the plane came in over the San Francisco bay it was pretty easy to leave everything behind, especially the weather. I already had a great sense of accomplishment because I finished reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance during the flight. I've been trying to finish the book since summer. Even though it was a good book, it was a long and complicated book so I took my time.

We got off the plane, grabbed our luggage and took the tram to get to our rental car. We hooked up the GPS and headed to Pier 39 for a nice seafood lunch. We passed Candlestick Park, AT&T Park, the Embarcadero, and many other cool San Francisco landmarks on the ride. Parking was a little difficult but we found a spot, put 5 bucks in the meter (yes $5) and walked from pier to pier. We stopped at Pier 39 and perused the shops along the way. We checked out a few menus posted in front of different restaurants before we chose the Pier 39 Seafood Market. It seemed like a perfect location to start our vacation. We were seated at a table by the windows and ordered Anchor Steam beer, a local brew they had on tap. It was pretty amazing looking out the windows over the water thinking about how we left blizzard conditions just a few hours earlier.

Lunch was very good and relaxing and we took our time. Since the meter was probably close to expiration after lunch we got in the car and headed to our hotel in Rohnert Park. We drove over the Golden Gate bridge on our way out of San Francisco and that was pretty cool.
We checked into our room and unpacked our luggage. Jeff read through most of our touristy, travel materials and had some ideas for things to do. Unfortunately, my camera was acting up so the first order of business was to go get a new one. I opted to head to a Wal Mart where I could get a nice compact Canon reasonably priced and if something went wrong with it, I could still return it when I got back home. So we bought a few snacky things while we were there to take with us on our rides through wine country. At the end of the day, we were pretty tired so we stopped at the In N Out burger to try one. It wasn't bad, but I doubt that I will ever go back. Check that off the to-do list.

Mother Nature is in control

The snow is coming, a blizzard in fact. Of course it is supposed to start tonight and keep coming until noon tomorrow. My flight leaves at 8:45 tomorrow morning, I hope. Everyone is freaking out over the weather which I don't understand. It's winter in Wisconsin and it is always like this. Year after year, it doesn't change. And the people who freak out over it every year don't change either. It's like a bad boring habit to discuss the weather.

A coworker did email the boss this morning from Albuquerque to say his flight back to Milwaukee was already cancelled even before the snow starts coming. Things are not looking good.

No one understands why I am so calm. Why not stay calm? I can't change it or fix it - mother nature is going to do what she does no matter what I think so why worry? I do check the airline regularly throughout the day and the flight is still on although the airport status says check your flight before heading out. By the afternoon the airline is asking if I want to reschedule but the flight is still on. I will wait.

By the end of the workday I decided that if the flight gets cancelled, it's ok. After all, we were feeling bad about missing a funeral that we really should attend this Saturday. We tried to get out of the trip but we would lose almost all the money we put into it. If it was the weather's fault we could reschedule without an extra charge.

Ten on Tuesday

10 Things You Want but Wouldn't Buy for Yourself:

1. A pedicure (I usually get spa gift certificates for Mother's Day and that's how I get pedicures).
2. TV series DVDs.
3. A cappucino maker.
4. A new gas grill.
5. More Wii games.
6. Bose iPod dock.
7. Ceramic bowls.
8. Boots.
9. Professional hair coloring.
10. Acrylic nails.

http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/

Shop the Ward

The third ward is one of the fashionable areas in Milwaukee. I know that's not saying much since the only other fashionable area of the city is about 3 miles northeast known as the east side. Such creative titles. Anyway, I headed to the third ward to meet my daughters for some Black Friday shopping and a nice lunch.

The difference between the third ward shops and the awful mall and department store throngs is that the sales begin at 9am, none of the hordes of lifeless zombies getting up in the middle of the night to get a free widget that is worthless in the first place. We casually went from store to store where there were plenty of sales making our quality purchases reasonable. The clerks were friendly, in fact we were offered a Mimosa and homemade coffee cake at Broadway Paper. Most other stores offered hot coffee or some delicious little snack. It was relaxing, not hurried and a lot of fun plus the sun was shining and the air was crisp, a lovey late fall day in Wisconsin.

Jen's friend owns a shop called Freckle Face, a beautiful children's store. We spent more time in there than most stores. We purchased some cute things for the new baby. It was hard to choose with all the beautiful clothes and cute toys to pick from. I bought the environmentally, reusable diapers, Jen bought some trendy little girly clothes. My favorite shop was Anthropologie. It was filled with quality housewares and clothing, it reminded me of an upscale Urban Outfitters. I could have purchased kitchen gadgets and trinkets by the basket full but I refrained. I don't really need anything - less is more is generally my motto but it sure was tempting.

We ended our shopping at the Milwaukee Public Market enjoying a margarita and tacos at Margarita Paradise. This was the best Black Friday because it was with my girls.

Steely Dan - The Aja Show

There were 13 people in the band, including 3 women backup singers. The show started with the band doing a little jazzy instrumental introduction. Then one of the backup singers symbolically lowered a record player needle onto a record and the band started playing Black Cow, the first song from the Aja album. They continued the album songs in order and of course after the third song, the "album" had to be turned over. The music was flawless. Just sitting back and listening to the sound of Donald Fagen's vocals brought me back to a time when I was younger, less battered by age and experience. It was like good memories of another time flowed like the music. Walter Becker was magical. Playing a guitar is a talent way beyond anything I could imagine, and this guy is the master.

Before the concert, I insisted on a margarita - I had to have my Cuervo Gold. Jeff didn't make the connection until the band played Hey Nineteen, too subliminal at the time for him I guess. It seemed like Aja went by fast. Then Mr. Fagen asked the audience what we wanted to do now, the crowd went wild and the music continued. The Riverside is a great venue, small and inviting, it feels much more intimate than most concerts halls. Every song was familiar, most of them I could sing along from start to finish. The audience was shouting out requests. Their playlist seemed to be never ending. And just when I thought it was coming to an end, there was more. The girls sang a song (Dirty Work), the horns played solos, as did Walter Becker and the pianist. Then there was more. It was incredible.

The audience was filled with people just like us. At just under $250 for two tickets, and there were higher priced ones available, I wondered what kind of crowd would be attending. The middle-aged, balding or grey haired generation was well-represented. It was a nice mellow audience, so we could actually sit and enjoy the show, unlike others where you have to stand through the entire thing. But some things never change, I could smell the dope in the air.

This concert is one of the best I have ever experienced and I would love to come back again tomorrow to see the Royal Scam show. I'm curious to see what those gorgeous singers will be wearing.

Becoming outnumbered

Now that the poser is gone, there's a job opening. Pushover boss is delighted because she can bring in another one of her work buddies from her last job. I'm OK with interviewing him and going through the process because I figure there are plenty of other candidates to look at as well. Then I ask, when are we getting more candidates? After all, this is a bad economy so the talent pool (looking for a job) must be pretty good. Pushover boss is shocked and angry at such a suggestion. "Why would we look for outside talent when we can hire someone I know?!?" Boy, she was pissed. So back to the interview. We question this guy who clearly states that he wants to be management someday, not do QA work forever. He does seem qualified but he's had more jobs in this decade than the number of DUIs another loser co-worker has...(and that would be 6 DUIs).

So I question the director regarding interviewing more than one person and she makes Pushover boss look at more resumes. Pushover boss sets up two interviews with other highly qualified candidates. But wouldn't you know it, those highly qualified actually got jobs somewhere else. (I knew there was talent out there!) So that was her lame attempt at "looking at other candidates". More proof of lazy. Lazy...hmmm, it hit like a brick - she wants this guy BECAUSE he wants to be manager, then he can do her work...how could I have missed that? Now it all makes sense. He starts at the end of the month. One candidate, one interview, one hire.

Finding meaning on this day

I took the day off. I don't know why but I was told I should. I would probably need it. The advice was good advice, I did need it. Today is the day one year ago that Stephen was born. We should be celebrating his first birthday instead of mourning his loss. All I know is that I need to do something memorable, something to commemorate how important it is that he was here.

I've been dreading this day for a long time. I knew there would be sadness, something tough to get through, but the worst part was looking for some sort of meaning in the day, like I needed to do something really special. Planting a tree was one thought I had, but it didn't really fit how I feel. I want a tradition that I could continue on all of Stephen's birthdays, something meaningful for me to give.

I woke up with a sense of dread, between the loss and my inability to channel that grief, it was a struggle. I put my running gear on and headed out the door. The sky was gray but the temperature was very warm for November. All I had on was a long-sleeved t-shirt and leggings, for running this weather was perfect. Running changes my mood, the endorphins kick in and make me settle down. The ruminations stop running through my head and things always seem clearer. And that's when it hit me - Project Linus.

Project Linus is a non-profit organization that gives handmade blankets to sick and traumatized children. What a perfect way to memorialize our sweet baby grandson. I could make a quilt, in fact I could make one every year on his birthday and donate it in his name.

I hit the ground running, baby fabrics, patterns, and the National Project Linus website for proper instruction. This is just the therapy I need. I am a blanketeer.

Happy Birthday, Stephen... Love, Grandma.

Veteran's Day parade

We rode in the Veteran's Day parade today. The weather was perfect, better than perfect for a November day. The Legion Riders group that we ride with is so nice and friendly, it's always pleasant to be around them. The turnout was pretty amazing and I was touched by the display of patriotism shown by those in attendance. I think I will let the photos tell the story...

A different funeral

I went to a funeral tonight for a nice man that I worked with for about 4 years. His name is Mike Petrick and he looked like a cross between Santa Claus and a ZZ Top band member. He was a large pleasant man who had a happy disposition. He rode a Harley in his younger years, but once he had to give it up, his free time was devoted to the races, the Packers, and his friends at the local bar. For Mike, that bar was Sparky's in Cudahy. And that's where his retirement party was held last July. The place was pretty full of the locals who all knew Mike. Apparently, he had a Sparky's family besides his real family. It was a good time but then everything we did with Mike was a good time. We saw him at festivals, his favorite being Summerfest, he enjoyed every opportunity for a good time.

Not long after Mike retired, he had a heart attack. It took a long time, but he recovered from that event and changed his life. Before the heart attack, he ate Fritos every day, along with a variety of things that were not healthy, but he changed all that to recover. Even though he cut back on some of the things that were bad for him he still had the races and the Packers games. On the day he died, he was heading to Racine to watch the races with his friends. He blacked out behind the wheel of his car and hit a tree. The paramedics were called and he was coherent but on the way to the hospital he had a massive heart attack and died. The doctors think his defibrillator fired which made him black out at the beginning of the heart attack that killed him.

One of my fondest memories of hanging out with Mike was at The Wicked Hop where we had many after-work parties. Mike was fond of another co-worker, Raquel. In the course of the evening, he bought her one of every type of martini that was on the drink menu. Since there were so many, she shared them with me. It was a crazy night, and by the end of it both me and Raquel were on Mike's lap while he pretended to be Santa Claus.

The funeral was a little different than most. There was no clergy so his sister spoke first, stating that she didn't know about Mike's relationship with God - that was between Mike and God so she was going to talk about his life, then Mike's niece read a poem, his best friend spoke, followed by Mike's brother. The service ended with the Lord's prayer. After the service we got balloons, there were 64 of them, one for each year of Mike's life so some of us had to share since there were so many people there. We then headed to the parking lot to release them all at the same time, followed by a shot of Jack Daniels. It felt like an appropriate end to honor a nice man. It's too bad he couldn't been with us longer, his gentle nature will be missed.

Early trick or treat

I checked the paper for the trick or treat time for our area and I was surprised to find that my town (Oak Creek) and neighboring South Milwaukee both have trick or treat on Sunday, October 25th from 4 till 6. Every other town in all of southeastern Wisconsin will do trick or treat at varying times on Saturday, October 31st. What a concept, trick or treat on halloween!

I imagine the dumb asses on the Oak Creek celebration committee thinking about how trick or treat is always the Sunday before halloween. How ridiculous when halloween actually falls on a weekend! So every surrounding town will bring their children to Oak Creek for double the fun, yes, some kids will trick or treat twice.

At least it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the temperature mild considering it is October is Wisconsin. Jeff and Bailee sat on the front porch and handed out candy. I bought my usual giant bags of goodies. The difference this year was as expected, I almost ran out. Most years, I break out that last bag and have most of it left but this year there was just a handful left. I'm sure my prediction was right, the kids from other burbs were in the neighborhood. In fact, I'm sure of it since my sister brought her kids over from their Milwaukee home.

The neighbor's daughter (who lives in South Milwaukee) brought her son over in costume. Jeff asked her why she wasn't handing out candy at her house. She said South Milwaukee changed their plans and moved trick or treat to the 31st like everyone else. So there's another group coming in from another area. Geez. Dumb Oak Creek city planners.

Even though I didn't get why it was early, I have to admit, I'm glad trick or treating is over for another year.

Hooked on Facebook

I joined the Facebook phenomenon and it's pretty amazing. I have connected with people from my past which is really cool. Especially when I get to catch up with ex-co-workers and out of town family. It's become a great way to keep in touch. I even learn new things about the people around me.

With some of my friends, the acronym TMI (too much information) certainly applies. Whether they are heading to a movie or to a restaurant, it's posted. Going shopping is posted. Having a cold is posted. Then there's those friends who have to repeat the news. Like OMG Michael Jackson is dead, or President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize! Geez. So it's not all good all the time, but it's never all that boring either.

Facebook has games. I started with FarmVille then Cafe World and I am hooked. It's like having a virtual farm and run a virtual restaurant. I get to arrange the livestock and plant the fields. I get to cook in the restaurant and decorate it as I like. It's such a silly waste of time but I can't help myself. Plus I get to see what my Facebook friends are doing on their farms and in their cafes so there's competition. A little like keeping up with the Jonses.

I hope I get over this gaming thing soon, it's taking over my crafting time. Maybe I should harness the Facebook energy for some crafting good. Anyway for now, it's fun so look for me there and maybe we can be Facebook friends.

10 on Tuesday

10 Guilty Pleasures:

1. Soaking in my hot tub.
2. Fabrics, lots and lots of fabrics.
3. Legacy Chocolates www.legacychocolates.com .
4. New scarves, purses, and shoes.
5. Downloading from iTunes on a whim.
6. Sunbathing in my hammock.
7. Reading books on my Kindle2 - and downloading new ones.
8. Being home alone.
9. Margaritas.
10. Sharing a bottle of wine and a good conversation.

http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/

Creative rut

I am in a creative rut, or maybe it's sensory overload. I went to the fabric store to buy some white fabric. Just white cotton, nothing more. I left the store with over $100 worth of fabric, 5 solids and 11 prints. It was just crazy. The stuff was jumping out at me, with plans in place to use up many of these as soon as I got home. I couldn't wait to get going.

Something happened by the time I got home. I looked at the big stack and didn't know where to start. I sorted, folded, sorted again. It just wasn't happening. I will put it away until tomorrow and hopefully I can just hit the ground running.

10 on Tuesday

10 Things you Want but Can't Afford:

1. To retire.
2. An inground swimming pool.
3. A Mercedes-Benz.
4. A new wardrobe.
5. A Harley-Davidson V-Rod.
6. A vacation home on Maui.
7. A trip to Italy.
8. A trip to Tahiti.
9. A log cabin in Door County, WI.
10. A fireplace in my kitchen.

http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/

Tomahawk Fall Ride

We headed out Friday morning, the sky was clear and the temperature was cool but not uncomfortable. We were running about 15 minutes late as usual. No matter what time we were leaving, Jeff is always late. It's like a competition with him to see how close to the minute he can be and it drives me crazy. For a Friday morning rush hour, the traffic wasn't bad. We got to the Capitol Drive Harley plant where we met up with Ken and his friend Rick. So we had a nice group of three bikes for the ride north, making us more visible in a number larger than one.

So we headed out on the highway with the first stop at Shreiner's in Fond du Lac for breakfast. Each stop meant planning for the next stop when we're in a group. It's the only way we can communicate - by planning in advance. We rode to the gas station down the street from the restaurant after breakfast. Rick had the smallest bike so it was up to him to let us know how far we could ride. He said he started to get concerned at 125 miles so we agreed to start looking for the next gas station after 100 miles.

We were on highway 41 planning to take highway 10 towards Stevens Point. Jeff missed the turnoff. It was in the middle of a construction zone and I thought he was looking for 110 so I didn't mention that I saw the highway 10 exit until we were almost to Green Bay. The turnoff was on the north side of Lake Butte des Morts so it was way too far to go back. We got off the highway, re-grouped and headed into Green Bay and took highway 29 instead. On the way we passed Doc's Harley-Davidson so after a gas stop we agreed to go back and stop in. H-D clothing does not appeal to me so I didn't buy anything, neither did Rick since he doesn't have a Harley, but Ken got a shirt.

Back on the road again, the next stop was our hotel. We were staying in Wausau, so we didn't have far to go now. We all stopped at the hotel, Jeff checked us in then Ken and Rick headed out to go check in at their hotel. They were staying in Rhinelander so they had another 45 minutes ahead of them. In the meantime, we walked across the street to McDonald's for my favorite diet Coke. The caffiene was good. Back at the hotel, we got into our swimwear and headed down to the pool, maps and brochures in hand. We swam some laps to unwind, soaked in the hot tub to get the feel of the road off. Sitting by the pool, we read through our maps and brochures and planned the rest of the evening.

After showering, we got back on the bike and headed up to Tomahawk. There was a motorcycle parade starting at 5:30 so we wanted to find a nice spot to sit and watch. We parked by the event's sponsor grocery store and hit the vendor tents. We decided to head in the store, buy a 6-pack and some snacks for the parade. We met a nice guy who wanted to thank my husband for his service to our country. Jeff wears his Legion Riders motorcycle vest like a badge of honor. And sometimes people notice. This man has a son in the Navy as well so he felt compelled to tell us how proud he was of him, as it should be.

We found a nice section of lawn next to some friendly people, opened a few Pacificos, sliced some lime for the beer and munched on potato chips while waiting for the parade. Ken called to say he just got there. I told him our location in Tomahawk and he said no, he just got to his hotel, not Tomahawk! He left our hotel almost 3 hours earlier. I guess the worst thing that happened wasn't missing highway 10 anymore. He said they did a u-turn a few times when they discovered they were going the wrong way. I guess it's a good thing it's all about the ride.

It was a nice time, sitting in the grass, watching the parade with a beer and my honey. After the parade, we got on the bike and headed to the street party about a mile away. We saw Ken and Rick heading in the opposite direction, but we figured they would eventually head to the street party since the parade was over. As we went to park, which was difficult since there were so many people and so many bikes, Jeff hit the curb with his foot as the bike was moving forward. Meaning he yanked his leg backwards as the bike was in forward motion. He pretty much sprained everything from the knee to the ankle. He was lucky he was able to keep the bike upright since he was in so much pain. He got off and stretched until the pain subsided. I asked him if he wanted medical attention, we were right across the street from the police station but he said no. He wanted to walk around to see if he would be ok. I sent Ken a text message telling him where we were figuring we would run into him. With his height, he is not hard to pick out in a crowd.

The street party was pretty cool. We stopped to listen to a band called Oil Can Harry. They were pretty good. At least I thought so, Jeff said he was having a hard time thinking of them as good after attending the U2 show in Chicago on Sunday. Obviously there is no comparison so we just got a laugh out of it. Jeff wanted to move around so his leg wouldn't stiffen up. We bought 2 bottles of water and a bag of popcorn from the Boy Scouts. The really cool thing about this rally is that there are all sorts of non-profit groups here selling food to make money for their cause. It is so much better than the awful Famous Dave's Restaurant or the other crappy fare found at the rallies around home.

Jeff mentioned that he was hungry for pizza so on a whim, I stopped at a tent selling slices and we split a piece of sausage pizza. Amazingly, it was hot and delicious. And it was just enough food for us. We walked to the east end of the street where another band was playing. I don't know their name, but they weren't as good as Oil Can Harry so it didn't matter for me to find out.

We walked, ate our pizza, enjoyed each other's company, then decided to head back to the hotel. I checked my phone for messages, there were two missed calls. Between the loud bands and being on the bike, the best form of communication is text messages. You get them when you can and you don't have to be someplace quiet to hear the message - or the phone ring for that matter. It was late, we weren't hanging around anymore. It was late for us anyway, it was almost 10:00.

The 30 minute ride back to the hotel was a little chilly, but in the north woods, where there are no big city lights, the stars were incredible. There were so many and it felt like you could just reach out and touch them. They were so bright among the darkness of the empty highway. The air was crisp and the view when looking up was spectacular.

It was a nice day, nice, safe ride, and a good time.

I am a Packers fan

I'm watching the Bears vs. Packers game and it feels kind of weird. As a lifetime Packers fan, there's no doubt which team I want to win. As a die hard Brett Favre fan, I still don't want the Vikings to win because I am a Packers fan. My cousin Karen is married to Virginia McCaskey's grandson, my niece, Megan's brother-in-law is Dan Buenning who plays for the Bears yet of all teams in the history of the world, it's OK if any team wins except for the Bears because I am a Packers fan. But I love Chicago yet I hate the Bears. It's a great town yet the fans are nasty.

10 on Tuesday

10 Bad Habits You Can't Break:

1. Bad driving.
2. Sarcastic remarks.
3. Too much time on the computer.
4. Eating stuff I shouldn't eat.
5. Going to bed too late.
6. Not making a lunch for work.
7. Not getting rid of old things.
8. Buying too much fabric.
9. Throwing away food.
10. Being judgmental.

http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/

Labor Day picnic

BJ was home for the long weekend and I suggested that he invite his friends over for a barbecue on Monday so he doesn't have to chase all over to see them. He thought it was a great idea so we planned a nice lunch. The beauty is that I didn't have to worry about lots of drinking and guests staying too long since BJ had to get on a plane around 5pm.

I invited family and he invited his friends so we had a little gathering of 30 people for lunch. I made enough food for everyone, bought a bunch of soda, but asked that they all bring their own beer. Funny thing happened, they brought no beer. They spent so much of the weekend partying that they didn't want any. So they were a pretty subdued group.

I won a cornhole game at a golf outing recently so we got to play for the first time. I made the little corn bags for the game so I got to try them out first. It is a cool game and it kept everyone entertained for the afternoon. Small children played in the sand left where the swimming pool was standing and I dug out some toys I've been saving for them to play with.

It was an tense afternoon, filled with crap I hate. Jen and Matt won't talk to BJ, Kelly is mad at Mike, Carmen is mad at Kelly and as far as I am concerned they are all wrong and ridiculous. I stay out of all of it, but it eats away at me. I don't know if I should get involved but I just don't see the worth of sticking my two cents in. All I know is I am annoyed at all of them. Maybe if I blogged my thoughts I would feel better - that is until one of them reads this.

Once everyone heads out, I am left with Bailee and Adam and we all sit down and have a beer (except for pregnant Bailee of course). It's crazy that when it comes to some things these two seem the most normal yet they have the most bad stuff that they are up against. Maybe it's the adversity that makes them more normal than the rest.

At the end of this day, I am just glad everyone was fed, had a good time, or pretended to, and went home. It was good to have BJ home, good to see him and all his nice friends. It was good to have all the family together, no matter what. I don't think I will do this again.

Peter and Lara's wedding

We went to a wedding with BJ and Lauren yesterday and it was one of the best ceremonies that I have ever attended. One of BJ's very close friends is the groom so some of his entourage will also be attending which is good since we don't know anybody.

The wedding was held at a friend of the bride's house in their backyard. The house was located on Lake Michigan in Mequon, the weather was perfect, it was the most amazing setting for a wedding. We walked a long path from the front of the house to the backyard where the landscaping was well done, there was a decorated port-a-potty, just in case, on the path, we passed a cute little potting shed then found ourselves on a walk way lined in hydrangeas, in a backyard filled with white chairs that had champagne glasses tied with a bow on the back of them. We were handed a program and a vial of bubbles. I wanted to blow the bubbles since the moment they were handed to me.

There was an arch covered in flowers at the edge of the yard. The background was filled with the view of Lake Michigan. The beautiful blue water was accented by the clear blue sky, it was breath-taking. There was a three-piece ensemble including a flutist, pianist, and cellist playing classical music which completed the gorgeous setting.

The beauty of these two young people is their desire to make the world a better place. They met at a political meeting, they love animals, and they work in careers that are all about helping people. Even during their wedding ceremony, they wanted to make sure everyone was involved. In the middle of the ceremony, the rings were passed around so everyone in attendance could bless them. It made me feel like I was truly a part of the wedding. Towards the end of the ceremony, the bridesmaids and groomsmen filled everyone's champagne glasses so we could toast the bride and groom at the end of the ceremony. I've never participated in a wedding quite like this.

After the ceremony, we drove a few miles down the road to the bride's home for dinner on the lawn. The yard was beautifully decorated, with large tents, a long table for the wedding party, and round tables for the guests. There were hydrangeas and candles everywhere. There was an open bar and as the drinks started flowing, some food was served. Apparently there was one little mistake, the house was locked when the caterers got there so nothing was ready as guests arrived. Seriously, no one would have ever guessed. There were hors d'oeuvres then more hors d'oeuvres then even more. The bride and groom were in a horse-drawn carriage that would take an hour to get to this reception so this was a great way to fill the time.

During the dinner the bride presented the groom with a special gift. She gave him a tree in memory of the groom's deceased father. It was a wonderful gesture. After dinner there were wedding cupcakes. They were decorated and arranged beautifully. The presentation was better than a wedding cake.

I loved how intimate this gathering of family and friends was. It had all the beauty and elegance of weddings in big churches and giant banquet halls, but it was better. All the guests felt special and really honored to be there. It was a beautiful experience.

Lakefront Brewery tour

The Lakefront Brewery tour is the best brewery tour there is. Hands down, no doubt. This isn't the first time I took the tour, but it was different this time because of Curtsy, the tour guide. He was truly the funniest, most entertaining, engaging tour guide of all the tour guides on all the brewery tours.

I love how they give you beer at the beginning of the tour, in the middle of the tour, and at the end of the tour. We drank a variety of beer, my favorite of the day is called Wheat Monkey or Monkey Wheat...I can't remember after having a few of these. All I know is it was fun before we even started. The brewery bought some of the props from old County Stadium so we took photos in Bernie's house.

BJ was a little disappointed that they handed us a plastic cup thinking this was his souvenir but it was just for the safety of the tour. The guide even explained how they are going green and these cups were made from recycled biodegradable materials that are recycled again after we use them. We got the real glass beer glasses at the end of the tour. It was interesting to learn that all beer is made with the same 4 ingredients, barley, hops , yeast and water. Amazing how it all comes out differently.

At the end, we all sat out on the Milwaukee River and enjoyed the beautiful day. It felt kind of weird that we were going to a wedding after the tour, so we were dressed better than necessary for a brewery tour. It didn't matter, it was fun, even in the stuffy dressy clothes.

Hope springs eternal

Bailee is pregnant again. She is excited, scared, but mostly excited or mostly scared. It depends on how her day is going.

I am nervous, scared, worried, so psychologically damaged, I don't know what to think.

Her due date is March 5th, just a few days after my birthday.

God help us all.

Trip to Galena

We rode to Galena, Illinois this weekend for a little getaway. We decided to take the highway (I-43 to I-39) to get out of town since it was overcast, windy, just a little chilly. Normally we would take more scenic roads that took more time but we figured we should just get there, get off the bike and hope for a warmer, more scenic ride back tomorrow. Luckily, the main route through Illinois to Galena is US-20 which is also named the Ulysses S Grant Memorial Highway and it brought some great views along the way. It was a pretty fast 186-mile ride.

Downtown Galena was a nice, quaint place. The historical buildings were impressive and we enjoyed a walk to Grant Park. There were plenty of Ulysses S. Grant information stops and historical items available to see since this was his birth place. We walked the downtown shops, stopped to buy some cheeses and chocolates, then went to a wine tasting. I will admit that I do not like Wisconsin wines. Every time we've gone to a wine tasting, I end up buying a bottle of something I don't really like that much. So I decided that we would buy no wine here in Illinois. I was assuming it was like the Wisconsin counterpart. We picked up a bottle to go with the cheeses and chocolates. It was so much better than any Wisconsin wine I've ever had, that I had a hard time picking out just one.

After that we checked out the restaurants on our downtown walk in order to pick a place for dinner later in the evening. It was a good day to be out and about on these pretty streets.
Then we went back to the hotel to soak in the hot tub with the wine and cheeses. It felt good to get the dirt from the 3-plus hours' ride off. After a relaxing late afternoon, we got dressed and headed back downtown for a wonderful dinner. It was a nice way to end a good day of travel.

After a morning soak in the hot tub, we packed the bike up and headed towards Dubuque, Iowa. We took the back roads and enjoyed the rolling hills and the georgeous Illinois country side. The views were surprisingly incredible. I had the impression that the land was nothing but corn and soy and very flat. Boy was I wrong!

We got to Dubuque where there is a Riverwalk on the Mississippi River. Getting off the bike for a walk was a nice change of pace. So I walked down to the water to put my hand in and found it pleasantly warm. Warmer than I expected anyway. I told Jeff that next time we ride this way we will have to plan a picnic lunch at this spot, it's quite the incredible view.

The Mississippi River Walk had an art fair with many pieces along the river. We stopped and checked them all out as well as a railroad trestle build in the 1840's that was still in tact over the river. We saw egrets and blue herons walking in the water searching for food. We took some photos and headed back to the bike. I thought it would be cool if we could bring back some Iowa corn, but seeing as we were in downtown Dubuque on a Sunday, there weren't alot of farmers or farmers' markets around. So no Iowa corn.

We hit the road again and enjoyed roller coaster like ride out of town. The twists and turns in the roads were great fun on a motorcycle. We stopped at a farm and picked up a dozen ears of Illinois corn. After a few hours on the bike we found a small town where we had a late lunch. A truck driver in the booth next to us heard us reviewing maps and he gave us details on how to get to one of the state highways in order to ride through lots of small towns on our way back to Wisconsin. It was good advice, the ride was wonderful. By the time we got home we had a renewed sense of adventure, one that we hadn't felt in a long time so I am really glad we went.

Strange work stuff

The poser is let go, or quit or something. I really don't know how it went but he's gone. From little innuendoes from the boss, I think he was fired. At the same time I didn’t think she had the energy to do the paperwork. So I’m gonna go with quit… or something.

Zappa plays Zappa

I bought tickets for the Zappa plays Zappa show as a gift for Jeff. The show comes highly recommended by a music professional/enthusiast that I trust at work. I had no expectations about the show, it was just a gift and it seems that as we get older the experiences we have are more important than things one collects.

The music lover from work invited us along with his group the day of the concert for drinks and dinner before the show. I loved the idea, although I wasn't so sure about showing up for drinks 3 hours before the show started. Since I'm not good at handling alcohol, too much time can be a bad thing.

We got to the bar 15 minutes after our host and his son arrived. His other friends were not there yet so it was the four of us. It made for a great start to the evening being able to chat in a smaller group. The Harp was going down nicely which worried me. We discussed the son's recent college graduation and some of his future plans. We talked about the friends that were expected to come in the door at any moment, but mostly we talked about the music. There were many great bands in our pasts as well as theirs and it made for an interesting discussion.

Our host's friends came with another couple so we all introduced each other as the waitress asked us if we would like to move upstairs. The conversation is better, the view of downtown is better, and just maybe she had an idea that we were going to need the space. It was a great location for a sizeable group. Especially when our host's wife and daughter joined in, making us a group of 10. We talked and drank and laughed and drank until we had some dinner. Then we talked and drank some more.

It was a fun afternoon with interesting people. I felt comfortable, like I've known these people for a while even though I met most of them today. Such a very warm and friendly group. We knew our son-in-law was going to the show and from our view, we could see him and his brother walking across the street. I tried to text a message to get him to stop by but he didn't check the message in time.

As it turns out, there are four bands in this show. We thought it was just Zappa playing Zappa followed by Dream Theater. Since some of our group was interested in Zappa and some in Dream Theater, we all decided to skip the first two bands. So the concert I thought I was going to at 6 turned out to have a 7:20 start. And that meant more drinking, talking, laughing, and having fun. This evening is great and I haven't even seen a concert yet. I learned how good Bombay Sapphire gin is on ice, even though I knew it wasn't a good idea to mix the hard stuff with beer. So I'm still standing and it's all good.

We got to the show and had to kick people out of our seats. Five minutes later, it didn't matter, we moved up by the rest of our dinner group (there were three empy seats next to them so we took up two). Dweezil Zappa came on and it was magical. If I closed my eyes, I thought Frank was on the stage, truly amazing. I was remembering concerts of the 70's when Frank Zappa was in his prime and how the bands of those days came on stage in jeans, funky t-shirts and usually boots. I don't know why, but I always remember boots. Now I look on stage and I see some of the band in cargo shorts and running shoes. It feels wrong like a princess on a Harley wrong. I know it's just the changing times.

I think about how the images of the past flash by, like a collage of little snapshots in time. Leather boots, long haired guitar players, skinny lead singers, the back-up girls all moving in unison. Even though I can feel the electricity of the moment, the melancholy loss of my youth, the terrible events of this year all become part of the slide show images that flash by. Sounds of Frank through his son is a reminder of that past. I think of how Dweezil must feel when he plays his dad's music and I wonder. Does he miss him terribly, or does the music make him feel closer to his dad? I bet it's both, at least the thought brings me some comfort.

I open my eyes to the magic in the air from the music. There is a lot of talent on that stage. I really dig the xylophone sounds. As they finished their set, I was disappointed at how quickly the time had gone by. Even though it felt like he had just started playing, he was on the stage for over 45 minutes. What a great show.

The people who own these seats come to claim them for Dream Theater and we move back nine rows to our original spot. Jeff buys everyone a beer, our new friends buy more beer. More beer. Dream Theater plays and I am still feeling a sort of high from Zappa playing Zappa.

I bought these tickets as a gift for Jeff but at the end of this evening, I think the gift was mine.

Another bad boss

I haven't thought about my bad boss stories for a while. Although nothing has really changed since the last bad boss was fired. That's not totally a fair statement, having a bad boss hasn't changed it's just that the new version of the bad boss is very different from the old bad boss.

This new manager has been here a year. We pinned our hopes on a boss who was fair, knowledgeable and hard working, with the determination to set higher standards for our department since we are quality assurance. We did get someone who was knowledgeable. At least knowledgeable about how QA should work. As for the rest all we see is someone who is unfair, unmotivated and a pushover. She is nice to us, I will say that. But nice doesn't cut the mustard.

One of the first things on her agenda was to hire a replacement for someone who was leaving. A few interviews were conducted before she mentioned someone she worked with at her last job. She said she needed to convince him to submit his resume. It was looking like that company was going to close which is why she came here so she thought she could recruit someone else before they were all out of a job. It was difficult to convince him because he had the benefit of working from home. That would not be an option here, we only allow it for special circumstances (so we were told). So finally he came in. Some of the team got to interview him, and he was knowledgeable, in fact probably the best of the candidates available at that time.

So the boss buddy started working for us. He has a wacky schedule due to child care issues which isn't a bad thing for those he has to work with if it's consistent so his team always know when he can be counted on. After the first month of work went by the work at home days started. By the end of the third month there wasn't a single week without a work at home day. Others in the department joined in by taking last minute work at home days, following his lead. My child is sick, my basement is flooded, I have a doctor's appointment, my car broke down. The reasons were coming fast and furious as many on the team took advantage.

There is one person that the boss isn't really that fond of. Personally, I think this person is way overpaid for the little work they do and the expertise is suspect at best. He is a poser who makes excuses like it's too much to work on more than one project at a time, or he's never worked on that kind of software so he can't be expected to know what to do....whatever. So the boss probably has some justification for her dislike. As the work at home reasons kept coming month after month, it was May when one person decided to work from home on a Wednesday, boss buddy was going to work from home on Wednesday, then poser says he is going to do the same on Friday. No one asked for these days, they all just stated that's what they were going to do.

That was the straw that broke the pushover's back. Or so we thought.

So pushover boss sends a stern email to the team about too many work from home days, how it's not fair to those who use vacation/personal/sick for the same situations and to knock it off. Little did we know that she didn't mean that for everybody. In a one-on-one meeting I had I thanked her for putting her foot down and mentioned that one of the project managers thought that her boss buddy was part time since he was gone many days from the office. Pushover was shocked, she was complaining about the poser, not her buddy. So I guess I put my foot in my mouth on that one.

So the work from home days stopped for a whole week. Then boss buddy called in sick. The next day he called in sick again. But in the middle of the day we discovered he was assigned a project that same day to do from home. Since the project was just turned over, it was obvious she was covering for him by telling the staff he was sick but really he was working from home. We have the availability to run billable hours reports and that proved the work from home/sick cover up.

So here we go again on that rollercoaster of doing/fixing nothing. Just more bad treatment for some of us good employees.

The winning ticket (again)

Today I attended the Fore Life, Fore Hope Golf Outing at Scenic View Country Club. This was a charity event to raise money for the Medical College of Wisconsin's cancer research center. The real reason I went was that a co-worker, John was the chairperson and I don't mind helping him out. Plus I like golf, even though I am not very good at it.

My foursome played decently, considering none of us golf much. But mostly we had fun. It was a gorgeous day and the course is in Holy Hill, where rolling hills are the norm so the view was fantastic. By the end of the day the sun did me in, and I was ready to call it quits before the last hole. I did finish, even though it was tough.

We got to the clubhouse where we had a nice banquet dinner and the golf prizes were awarded. On the course we had the opportunity to buy raffle tickets, and if you got the ball on the green in one, your raffle tickets were doubled. That didn't matter, none of us did it. Although we came close a few times. John stopped by to thank me for putting a foursome together and he let me know that he really appreciated it by giving me two extra raffle tickets. I pointed to the Cornhole game that he had as a prize and I told him jokingly I really hoped to win that. It looked like it was a lot higher quality than the ones at the game stores.

In the past year, at charity events that both John and I attended I've won a microwave oven, a trip for two (airfare and hotel), two $50 gift cards for local restaurants, and an overnight stay in a hotel suite. There were a few other small things as well so John is always teasing that he knows I'm going to win something!

I don't think about it, or hope for it, I just buy the tickets like everyone else. The raffle started and they called off number after number and finally, one of our foursome got a prize. I was glad because it was the newest member of our team. Three of us golfed together last year so it was cool that the new guy won. All the prizes were awarded except the last two. John looked at me with this, "what's up?" look, like I was supposed to automatically get a prize. I just rolled my eyes thinking fat chance, my luck can't hold out forever.

The second last prize was awarded. Then they brought out the Cornhole game and I said to my team, if there was a prize I could pick that would have been it - it's so cool. And the number was called. I popped up out of my chair hooting and cheering all the way up to the winner's table! It was mine and I could not believe it. John just shook his head.

Right before we were getting ready to leave he stopped by my table to congratulate me again and I mentioned that the winning ticket was one of the two he gave me, I didn't win off of the tickets I bought. (He asked me not to mention that to anyone.) It was a fun evening and I still cannot believe my luck. If only I could get that darn lottery ticket to match later tonight.

Wisconsin State Fair

We spent the day at the Wisconsin State Fair. It was so early that there weren't that many people there. Since the exhibition hall was the closest building we started the day by weaving our way through all the vendors hocking their wares. It was all worthless junk, but fun to listen to the silly sales pitches that made the stuff seem worth while. The people watching is always a hoot as well.

It was barely 10:30 before we passed the margarita tent and I had to have one. After all, I am on vacation today. After I picked up the margarita we were ready for breakfast. I got a Wisconsin-made sausage while Jeff got the omelet. We had to get some milk as well. I tried chocolate malted milk for the first time and it was awesome. It was good to eat something hardy after the pre-breakfast tequila.

As we sat and ate our breakfast, an older couple (meaning older than us) sat down next to us. They were pushing a baby stroller that was holding a little boy who seemed not much more than a year old. They fed him a little spoon of plain ice cream and he seemed to gobble it up with delight. It made me cry. In one minute I was content, the next I was so sad, missing our baby Stephen so badly, missing the opportunity to take him to the fair. The heartbreak hit me hard.

I tried to move on but the image of the content, happy baby just stuck in my mind. We walked through the barns, checked out the sheep, chickens, cows, horses, and pigs. It was good to walk the food off. And the liquor. We went over to the horticultural building, which is my very favorite. It has all the winning entries for the foods and crafts. I love looking at the quilts.

After the quilts, we stopped at the DNR where I asked about getting rid of the hawk in the yard. The ranger told me what I already knew, stop feeding the birds if I want the hawk to go away. I was hoping for a miracle answer. At the House of Harley tent and chatted with a friend. He filled us in on his recent travels then we were off to look for Stonethrow Winery's booth. I passed the information tent to discover that they weren't there this year. The next stop was the WEnergies Park that had lots of information on going green. I picked up a brochure on rain barrels, saw a rain chain in action, and got idea for making my own version of a topsy turvy for tomato plants.

I saw a woman eating the chocolate covered bacon. I wanted to try that until I saw her eating it, it looked gross. We turned the corner and as soon as I saw Slim McGinn's, I had to have the reuben on a stick. It was so good Jeff ordered one. I had a Harp and he had a bottle of water. The Harp was good. Beer at noon isn't a bad thing. At least not at the fair. From there we went through the Merchandise Mile (under the race track grandstand) just to work off the meat on a stick.

We realized that we saw all there was to see. We hung out at a few stops to rest, and we were ready to go home. So we picked up a 6-pack of cream puffs and headed out.

The fifth season

There is a man at the end of our block who coaches a youth football team. All summer long he had a sign in his yard advertising team openings in the youth league. Since it is summer, I thought I would be looking at that sign for quite a while. But I noticed yesterday that it's not in the yard anymore. It's barely a day into August so it doesn't seem like it's time to think about football! Or is it time?

This neighbor/coach has a tractor that is rickety and makes a distinct clackety-clack when it goes by the house. He uses it to haul the football equipment from his home to the park. Our house is right between the two points so over the years it's become a traditional part of the end of summer - new school year - start of fall tradition. During football season, it goes by every week night and returns when the sun goes down. It's as constant as the smell of coffee in the morning.

Sadly, today the tractor went by. Just as I was starting to try not to notice that the sun is going down earlier and the school supplies are the main event in the Sunday paper's flyers, the sound hit me like the alarm going off on work days. It's just too soon to be thinking about fall and football and school days. I barely got used to the summer days. How quickly the seasons change. The funny thing is that the tractor is sort of soothing, like an old friend.

Compassionate Friends Balloon Launch

Compassionate Friends held a balloon launch to honor the children’s names that are being dedicated to the memorial ‘wall’. The term ‘wall’ is loosely defined as it is actually a circular granite bench that surrounds a mini-garden that is known as the memorial garden. Basically it’s a giant planter in the middle of the community center’s main sidewalk; it’s a pretty space and a nice space. Our sweet baby Stephen’s name was one of the new names engraved on this granite ‘wall’ so our balloon was launched honoring his memory.
Since we’re new to this experience, we didn’t really know what to expect. When we walked into the meeting room, the first person we encountered was a man who was Jeff’s umpire partner a few years back, Wayne. Jeff immediately approached him to find out his connection to this group and it turns out he is the brother-in-law to one of the Compassionate Friends co-leaders and he was asked to read the names of the children who were dedicated on the new wall.
After talking to Wayne, we went over to a table where they were selling blue rubber bracelets like the original LiveStrong ones. These ones are swirly blue and while like clouds and they say FORVER IN MY HEART flanked by a butterfly on each end. We bought two and the money goes to Compassionate Friends. The last table we stopped at had little square sheets of paper to write a message on. The idea was to write your message, roll it up, tie it to a balloon and send it up to heaven.

We were told ahead of time to bring a photo of our child so I brought the special photo/poem tribute that my friend Chris had a photographer make for me. I put it in a table top photo frame that would stand up easily. I found the table with all the photos; it was filled with candles, flowers, and many other children’s photos and I gently placed our baby’s picture among the rest. Bailee also brought a photo, one I had never seen before so I was pleasantly surprised. I didn’t think there would be something new I didn’t know about so this was wonderful to see. She had the photo in a gorgeous frame given to her by our friend, Midge.

We sat down by our friends, the Hortons, whose daughter died from MS in December. We chatted for a while, and then another CF member, Chris came and sat by us. Chris and his wife Kim lost their baby to Trisonomy 13, a genetic disease that only allowed him to live the first day after birth. Chris brought his parents along and he introduced them to all of us. Chris is connected to Jeff because they worked together at GE. I met him when we did the 2-day MS bike ride together on Team GE. Chris and Bailee were much more so connected by the loss of their children and at the end of this event they spent some quality time talking things out and catching up with the current events in their lives. I was glad both Bailee and Adam had Chris to connect with.

The program started with a greeting from the Compassionate Friends leader followed by a moving song about balloons to heaven. Wayne and the chapter co-leader took turns reading the new names then there was a 10-minute video that contained the photos of all the children honored over the years. I really did not want to see the video, the self-centered version of me felt this would be wasting my time since our baby boy would not be in it and even as the production started to roll, all I could think of was that I could have done a better job of putting together this thing. It was full of hokey misused transitions from photo to photo and it was on a video that you can purchase. Where’s the DVD version?

Then the photos became familiar. Too many babies, too many small children, and too many names that I knew! Young children and grown children, somebody’s children. I am humbled by the experience. By the time the video ended I felt compassion for all these people who attended. I thought of all those mothers and fathers and all that loss and that the loss was mine as well as theirs. I felt like I wasn’t alone in my grief.

I immediately filled out my note to heaven. I asked Bailee and Adam if they wanted to do the same and they declined. It was too hard for them. I asked Jeff if he wanted to do it and he said no, he says he sends a message to the baby daily so he didn’t see this as necessary. Sandy, Stephen’s other grandma picked out the balloon and I tied my note to it. I gave the balloon back to Sandy so she could release when it was time. By the time I finished writing my note, an ex-co-worker from years ago, Laurie approached me wanting to know why I was there. I explained that my daughter’s baby died from SIDS and she immediately hugged me then hugged Bailee twice. She said her friend’s son had died from a choking game where he hung himself. I told her I was there when the parents came to the first CF meeting and I told her I was sorry she had to be a part of all this grief as well.
After some volunteers handed us flowers we walked out to the memorial garden. Everyone gathered around to get ready to release the balloons. Bailee ran back in to the building to get the baby’s photos so we could beat the rush later. When Bailee came out Sandy gave the balloon back so she could release it. The queue was when the butterfly balloon goes up, and then we release the balloon. The group fell pretty silent as they all went up. It was an incredible sight. We didn’t stay to enjoy the camaraderie, it just felt right to go.