Top 10 Reasons that I am not hip and trendy

Top Ten Reasons that I am not hip and trendy:

1. I've never seen a reality television show. I hear about them during the morning radio talk shows on my way to work, but I've never actually seen one.
2. Who is Lindsay Lohan and why should I care about her celebrity status? I think she's on the television show Desperate Housewives but since I’ve never seen that show, I really can't say for sure.
3. I hate everything Oprah.
4. I think McDonald's coffee is better than Starbucks.
5. Cell phones should be used to make phone calls, not to take photos or listen to music. They should ring like phones so I want to answer it, not get up and dance.
6. I don't understand what the big deal is about lunch meat wrapped in a tortilla. It's still lunch meat with 3,000 milligrams of sodium so how can it be called a healthy choice?
7. I still think Cosmopolitans are yummy. I know Sex and the City was cancelled a few years back now and that the Cosmo craze died when the show died but after all, I live in Milwaukee, we're just getting into crop pants and iPods.
8. I believe that tennis shoes a.k.a. sneakers a.k.a. athletic shoes should only be worn in the gym. I don't care if they are as expensive as a pair of Jimmie Choos. They are still just gym shoes.
9. I have never and will never try sushi.
10. I do not use text messaging. See #5.