I remember exactly where I was. I wasn't working at the time, but I kept a very strict routine so I didn't waste my days away. Get up and get Jeff off to work in the morning, go for a run, make a pot of coffee, get ready for classes. I attended MATC at the time through a program offered by the Wisconsin Department of Unemployment Compensation. I got to attend classes full time free of charge while drawing unemployment compensation, I felt like I won the lottery.
It was a Tuesday so I had my visual basic class that was held at 11. I had plenty of time to get some housework done and putz around if I so chose. It was 8:50 when Jeff called. He knew I never watched television and he told me to turn on MSNBC because something bad had just happened. He said a plane accidentally hit the World Trade Center in New York City. As we chatted I turned the TV on to see the gaping black hole in the side of the building, smoke billowing out as the news reporters speculated on what happened. Since this occurred minutes earlier, it was too soon to really know what happened.
All of a sudden you could hear the sound of another plane. It was a familiar sound of rapid decent. Since I've lived by Mitchell Airport my entire life I know that sound. Airplane noise is so familiar I don't really hear it sometimes but on the television I recognized it. The cameraman filming the burning building caught it live, a second plane crashed into the other Trade Center tower. I instantly dropped to my knees. I don't know if it was the gravity of what just took place, the fact that it was live and I saw it happen, the knowledge that this was obviously not a tragic accident, or maybe all these things felt like a sucker punch.
I was glued to the television. Sometime during the series of events I hung up from my call with Jeff but I have no recollection of when. I tried to shake it off and recover from what I just witnessed but I knew it would be with me forever. As the newscasters became increasingly emotional, describing the devastation and destruction, things got even worse. The tower came crashing down. The impact and the flames pushed it to the breaking point and it crumbled into rubble in an instant. All on live television. People were running, including the cameraman filming the event. It looked like the city had turned into a wild west dust town within moments. Even though I couldn't turn it off, I had to walk away from the TV.
I set my mind on the 11:00 class. I packed up my book bag and headed out the door. Sitting in class was unsettling. Instead of the usual chit-chat that goes on before the class starts, everyone was silent. The instructor walked in, everyone faced him and he said, "I've never had to stand in front of a class and teach on the day that my country is attacked. I don't know what to say."
So we engaged in conversation about it for the first half-hour of class. After that he announced that it's time to get back to business so we don't get behind. I was thinking good call. I need to move this to the back of my brain since I was already suffering from emotional exhaustion.
That afternoon I headed to my church. They were having their semi-annual blood drive and I always try to donate. The blood drive started at 2 and ended at 7. I thought I would go early before the after-work rush. It was a little after 2 when I got there and the place was crazy. They usually get 30-40 pints within their allotted 5-hour time period and today there were probably more people than that waiting to donate already. Carole, the blood drive coordinator was already starting to panic. With the volume of people already coming, she knew she was going to be extremely busy.
I waited 45 minutes for my turn. During that time people strolled in to pray. The grocery store across the street donated platters of food when they heard about the number of people wanting to donate blood. This was a way for those of us who were feeling helpless to do something. We really thought this was necessary as all those people who were injured by this event would need it. Little did we know that there would be very few survivors, no one left in the rubble to help. It was something which felt better than doing nothing.
The next day I had my web design class. My instructor started the class with a discussion on the previous day's events. He stated that when he flew into New York City, the magnificent towers were the first thing you saw before your plane even landed. He felt like a piece of our American heritage's greatness was now gone and traveling there would never be the same without those buildings. His statement made me feel that I had truly missed something spectacular since by that time, I had never been to NYC.
The world will never be the same after this terrible time in our history and we have to accept that. I've always wanted to travel to foreign countries and now I'm not so sure anymore. I have traveled to NYC since the 9/11 tragedy and I cannot express in words how difficult it is to stand at what is now called Ground Zero.
It's an emotional experience that brings so many mixed feelings of sadness and grief, anger and frustration, hope and faith.
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