My Atkins Experience

I wrote this in May, 2003. It was a narrative essay for an English Composition class. Every once in a while I have to remind myself of my journey. By the way, I got an A on the paper...

I woke up one morning with a sense of dread that I had never felt before. Usually I was eager to get my day going. I loved my job, the people I worked with were also my close friends, my home life was complete, with all my children grown, happy, and successful, so why was I so miserable? The company I worked for announced that we would be out of a job within a year, but I thought of that as a blessing, a passage in life, and a reason to develop and be challenged after my comfort level from 20 years at the same place. I was looking forward to extended time off with severance pay, lots of free time, and many ideas on how to fill it. I loved everything about my life except one thing; I was overweight.

With this mood wearing me down, I decided to get a physical. Hoping for a miracle cure, my doctor tells me that I an anemic and prescribes iron and a healthier diet, protein and green vegetables being the key to making me feel better. He also tells me that I have high blood pressure and considering that my mother had a stroke, I should exercise to help lower my blood pressure. So now instead of looking forward to my new future, I feel out of control. With my kids not needing me, my impending job loss, and my poor health, I was feeling hopeless. After a week of self-loathing for not taking better care of myself, I decided that if I couldn’t control the changing world around me, I could control my own body, my little internal world. So after much research, I decided to take on the Atkins diet. It had everything I needed, high protein for the anemia and quick results for someone as overweight as I was. I bought the Dr Atkins Diet Revolution book and all the required vitamins, following the advice of my doctor along the way.

The Atkins diet is a low-carbohydrate diet, high in protein. The theory is that sugars created by carbohydrates in your body produce energy that you need during the day. If you do not use them up they turn into fat stores in your body. If you stop the intake of carbohydrates, you will use up the fat stores for the energy that you need. The protein you eat is used for energy also as it replenishes your muscles for maximum benefits. Even though it seemed weird to be eating only meats, green vegetables, eggs and cheese, the diet made sense to me and with some creative cooking skill and the short list of foods that were allowed, I could make it work.

The first month was great. I lost 9 pounds the first week and at the end of the first month, I was 23 pounds lighter. My pants were loose, but so was my skin. I could see those gelatinous skin folds forming under my arms, like a turkey’s waddle when they turn their heads. It felt wonderful to be lighter but I didn’t like the way my skin was fitting. I joined a gym called Curves for Women. Their gimmick is a 30-minute workout for women on the go. I liked it because the routine was something that you didn’t have to figure out, you just went around all the pieces of equipment in 90-second increments, like playing musical chairs and landing on the spot next to you. It was enjoyable, in a non-intimidating atmosphere, no body-builders, no gym experts, just novices like me which was comfortable and fun.

The second and third months went by quickly. I was in a routine where I was eating eggs for breakfast, a chef’s salad for lunch, and meat and a green vegetable for supper every day. The diet did not allow sugar, which I didn’t mind because a special treat for me was coffee with cream. And cream is ok because there are no carbs in it but coffee was limited because of the caffeine. So I treated myself to a Starbucks during break time once in a while. It was a real treat for me. By the end of that third month I had lost another 35 pounds. I was still wearing my size 18 jeans, which were falling off. I altered them twice around the waist, but it was time to go buy a different pair.

Going to the store for new jeans was terrifying for me. I wanted to be thin but I felt like my new smaller body was just a dream and if I shopped for new jeans I would find out I really wasn’t any better off after all. So I grabbed a pair of size 14’s and 12’s then at the very last moment I went back and grabbed the size 10’s too. I was cautiously optimistic but reality told me to start with the 14’s. I should be happy if I can wear a size 14. Once inside the dressing room, I decided to throw caution to the wind. I picked up the size 10’s first. I compromised in my mind that it’s ok if they don’t fit now, they will someday. After I firmly planted that thought in my head I slipped them on. They slid up without a struggle. Without a wiggle or a jerk or having to jump up and down to pry my way into them, up they went! Like a skilled musician, I buttoned and zipped them without missing a beat. As I stepped out of the dressing room sobbing, my husband and daughter were standing there smiling, happy for my accomplishment while everyone else probably thought I was crazy.

By the fourth and fifth months, I was becoming something of a celebrity at Curves. I offered advice to anyone who would listen and my picture was posted with my weight loss stats boldly displayed. With 14 more pounds gone, my 5 month total was 72 pounds. Christmas was coming and I started looking at clothing in a different way. The things I used to buy were meant to cover and conceal; now I was thinking that I could try something a little more exciting and I always dreamed of wearing leather jeans. As a not-so-subtle hint, I posted a photo from a catalog of a model in leather jeans and I wrote across the picture, Size 6 please. Was I dreaming? Could I really wear anything in a size 6 let alone something as hot and sexy as leather pants?

Christmas came and the leather pants were a gift from my husband. I decided not to try them on but to leave them in the box until I was sure they would fit. January marked the sixth month of the diet; I went to the gym 6 days a week and I always had the things on hand that I could eat so I was never deprived. I kept a positive attitude although this month marked the most difficult time for me because the last 10 pounds wasn’t coming off as easily as the rest. Had my body adjusted to this new way of eating so well that it wasn’t going to work anymore?

I went back to the doctor for a check up. He could not believe the results. My blood pressure was normal and the anemia was gone. At the same time, I knew that I couldn’t live on the Atkins diet forever. If you aren’t careful you lose muscle mass and it can be hard on the kidneys so I decided to switch to the heart healthy way of eating. Considering that removing carbohydrates from my diet made me lose so much weight, I was now afraid that if I ate them I would gain weight back. So I made sure I was careful to watch calories and fat content. It felt good to eat cereals, fruit, and yogurt again. The amazing thing is that I not only lost the last 10 pounds, but my body started to feel firmer. Now that I was burning carbs for energy, my muscles were beginning to develop giving my body a tighter more refined feel.

From this experience I now know that the diet was responsible for my weight loss and exercise for my clothing size. I now understand the true meaning of discipline. I have changed physically and mentally and I realize that I needed to do this to help me adjust to everything else going on in my life. If I couldn’t control what was going on around me, I could control my body. It was therapy. I’ve kept the weight off for over 3 years now and I don’t want it to ever come back. New challenges in my career and a new body make me feel like I can do anything even at the age of 45.

The last thing I wanted to mention is that I did have to take the leather jeans back. They didn’t fit. I needed to get them in a size 2!