Ten on Tuesday

10 Best Movies I've Seen Lately:

1. Mamma Mia! The Movie
2. The Bucket List
3. Juno
4. Slumdog Millionaire
5. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
6. The Hangover
7. Milk
8. Waitress
9. Sex and the City
10. Inglourious Basterds

I had to go way back, I don't go to many movies and there have been many bad ones to get through to get to these ten.

http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/

Ten on Tuesday

10 Things I'm Looking Forward to in 2010:

1. A new baby granddaughter.
2. Paid off bills.
3. Marathon training.
4. Selling my crafts on Etsy and at Craft Fairs.
5. Going to Sturgis.
6. A redecorated guest room.
7. Visiting my son out West.
8. Getting my ASQ audit certification.
9. Making new quilts.
10. Taking a photography class.

http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/

Some thoughts on rebuilt engines

I read this story in the Compassionate Friends newsletter and felt the need to keep it on my blog (with acknowledgement of the author, of course - so I hope she doesn't mind). It is a reminder of where I have been since the loss of my grandson and hope for where I wish I could be. I am certainly not there yet, and maybe someday I will be, but for now this brings comfort on bad days and brings me hope in the new year.

Those of us who receive the Compassionate Friends newsletter have experienced something in common — the shattering of our human machinery upon impact with a son or daughter’s death. Whatever helped us keep moving before, nothing works for us now. Our lives ground to a halt.

In the stillness of grief’s long night, I felt despair over trying to repair something that would always lack a vital part. How could I ever rebuild the machinery of my life without that precious part? Any repair work would require my permission and participation. Looking at the tangled, damaged parts of myself, I questioned how to salvage any thing workable from the wreckage.

Eventually, blessedly, the desire to move again, to get back into life’s traffic, got me doing something. At first it was tinkering, experimenting with the broken parts, imagining them whole again. Then I tried to learn by watching others who were rebuilding. It helped to read repair manuals, painfully written by people like me. The process was tedious and exhausting; there were setbacks, hidden costs, and false starts.

One surprising day my engine actually turned over — I moved a little. Before long, the motor sounded stronger. It almost seemed to hum, as I remembered it could. With persistence, I worked up to a decent speed, regained my sense of direction, and even began appreciating some sights along the way. I discovered that a rebuilt engine could carry me, despite the missing part. Occasionally it sputters, misfires, or floods, being sensitive to road hazards other drivers don’t see. Some hills always seem too steep; certain roads have too many memories. Sometimes the fog is too thick to drive through. When necessary, I slow down, make adjustments, or pull off the road temporarily.

I wanted to write about my experience out of gratitude. Each of us has our own long night of grief and our own reawakening from it. The mystery of healing defies simple explanation. Do invisible hands help us in the healing process? I don’t have an answer, just astonishment at the process which moved me from the tangled wreckage of myself to a sturdy rebuilt that appears whole, even though it isn’t.

In closing, I lovingly acknowledge my daughter, Beth, who believed deeply in the possibility of rebuilding her own life. Joan Page — TCF, Miami

Ten on Tuesday

10 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Have more patience with my husband.
2. Be more thrifty with my money.
3. Run the Milwaukee Marathon.
4. Get my Etsy sales moving.
5. Clean out my closets.
6. Donate more, recycle more (see #5).
7. Work on improving my writing skills.
8. Use my dining room for what is was meant for.
9. Finish the things I started (like painting the spare room).
10. Take a photography class.

http://www.yanowhatimean.com/tuesday/

Time to get it together

I've been having a real hard time with Christmas. All I could think of was last year's tree with the Baby's First Christmas stocking hanging on the top of the tree...followed by a photo of that stocking at the baby's funeral. Those two images are so intertwined that I cannot separate them so there is no joy in the upcoming holiday. I have no desire for a tree, for holiday shopping, for cookie baking, for decorating, for all the things that I enjoyed during the Christmas season.

Then Adam posted his comment on Facebook about how he misses Stephen so much and that he knows he would have really liked the snow. That comment was a real slap in the face for me. It was a reminder that others were hurting more than me and that I should be helping hold them up instead of being a burden on everyone around me as a wallow in my own sadness. So I'm suking it up and going shopping. The cookie dough is in the fridge.

Thank you Adam for straightening me out, I really needed the kick in the ass.

Iron Cupcake - Pro

Jen volunteered at the Professional Edition of Iron Cupcake which was held at the Milwaukee Art Museum. She is a member of the Art Museum so she gets two free tickets to all events. Since she was working the event, she gave us her two free tickets. When you get in you get two ballots, one for picking your favorite cupcake art and your favorite food cupcake. There was a bar, a coffee shop, a band, a DJ and the most beautiful cupcakes ever. There were quite a few professional cake bakers with a wonderful variety of cupcakes to sample. The tough thing was figuring out where to start.

We walked from table to table just looking at how beautiful the cupcakes were decorated. Then we got a glass of wine and a plate and went back to pick out some samples to try. Before I knew it I had more cupcakes than plate. So we sat down and tried them all. It was hard to pick out a favorite since they were all so good. In the end we critiqued them for how they looked as well as taste to decide who gets our vote.

After we finished the cupcakes we went to the Warhol exhibit and enjoyed the art. It felt good to take the time to stop and check out Warhol's work in such a relaxed atmosphere. Considering Christmas is right around the corner, it felt good to be removed from the hustle bustle of the season. After the exhibit, there was free food for all attendees. Talk about a nice evening at the right price, even if we had to pay the $8 per person charge to get in, this would be worth every cent.