Stuck in a moment

I don't know why it is, but I just can't seem to make a decision. I should be planning a vacation, planning a rummage sale, and taking some random days off to get things done around the house but I can't even pick a day to take off. I don't know what's the matter with me. Is this a result of living a grief-filled life? This lack of decision-making increases my angst which is already too much. Even writing is tough, but it's supposed to be helpful in the grieving process. I don't see how. The thing is, I don't know that I want to move on. It feels like moving on would mean letting go of our sweet little baby and I will never let go. I don't see any options. Maybe there is a different version of normal that I have to learn to live with and this is it. A life filled with indecision and stuck in a vacuum. The one thing I do wish is that I could dream in color again.