I won a travel gift certificate at last year's golf outing and all I remembered is that it expired before the next golf outing. So I had a year to use it. Or so I thought. The outing is always the third Wednesday in July and for some reason I had it stuck in my head that I had that long to use it. Seeing the the outing is just a week and a half away, I better use the thing now. So I dug it out of my important papers, opened it and discovered that it expired on Friday! Oh my God, I just let $600 slip through my fingers. I couldn't believe I could be so stupid. So I called the travel agent and told them my dilemma and they graciously agreed to extend the expiration date for six more months. I was extremely grateful but I also told them I would be there before the end of the day. I had to finally decide.
As crazy as it sounds, making this travel decision was terribly difficult. Ever since I won it, I found it almost a burden to try to spend it wisely. And since January, I have been consumed with grief making it impossible to decide what to do with the prize travel money. Today was the turning point, letting it slip through my fingers is a terrible waste, one that I could not afford. For months I thought about Alaskan cruises, tropical vacations, even spending it on a trip to a Packer game in a warm state in winter. I just had so much trouble. But in the back of my mind I have always wanted to go to the Charles M Schulz museum. It seems frivilous to travel all the way to Santa Rosa, California to see Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and the rest of the gang that I love so much. The justification came when I reminded myself that this was a prize, a prize I won and I could do what I wanted with.
When we got to the travel office, the agent reiterated that we could extend the gift certificate for six more months so I really didn't have to decide today. I told her that would mean I would be back there in six months asking for another extension, so I need to get this done. I explained my desire to see the museum to the travel agent, she turned to her computer typed a few lines and said, "You're going on a wine country tour, and staying in the Sonoma Valley. I have a 4-star hotel for you 6 miles from the Charles M Schulz museum. Is that OK?"
"Umm, yeah", I said.
Jeff says half-heartedly, "So we're gonna do Sideways?"
Sure looks that way. After a few scenarios through three different California airports, all close to Santa Rosa, the travel agent gets us into San Francisco by 11am so we have lots of time to drive 50 minutes to Santa Rosa before rush hour.
Jeff says, "We are going to Fisherman's Wharf for lunch!" Now there's enthusiasm in his voice.
The travel agent mentions Muir woods, many wine tastings, and driving to the ocean. There are plenty of things to do besides the museum and that cheers us both up. The trip doesn't feel so frivolous any more.
I have a sense of relief for finally deciding, and actually feel like there's something to look forward to. I'm glad I got this done.
Monday, July 13
Monday, July 6
The pink sink
So there's this sink. Actually, it's not a sink, it's a bathroom counter top with the center cut out where there used to be a sink.
The sink is pink. Actually it's not pink, it's mauve. OK, so I call the mauve countertop a pink sink. I think pink sink has a better ring to it.
The pink sink has been leaning up against the neighbor's deck since October, 2007. Yes, it's been there approximately 643 days, but I'm not counting. I'm complaining, not counting.
Last year, my son bought me a lilac bush for Mothers' Day - the idea was to hide the view of the pink sink. Six weeks later at his graduation party, he offered to steal the pink sink. In their inebriated state, his friends would help him take it away late in the evening. I said absolutely NOT. What if they got caught? I have to live next to these people so that would suck. Right after his graduation party, he moved to the west coast. He came home the week of Memorial Day for vacation and he noticed the pink sink, looked at me and said, "I would have gotten rid of that, but you wouldn't let me, remember?" Yes, I remember.
The neighbor on the other side of me noticed the pink sink. She is pretty particular, so I'm not surprised. She asked me, "What's with the sink?" OK, she said countertop but I prefer sink. When I told her how long it was there, she seemed more annoyed than I was.
It's like a redneck backyard, the pallets piled up, the old bricks in a toppled stack, the half-opened bags of sand, none of that matters, just that damn sink. I know it's not rational, but I love sitting outside to enjoy the view, how green and lush everything is and then there's that pink sink.
The sink is pink. Actually it's not pink, it's mauve. OK, so I call the mauve countertop a pink sink. I think pink sink has a better ring to it.
The pink sink has been leaning up against the neighbor's deck since October, 2007. Yes, it's been there approximately 643 days, but I'm not counting. I'm complaining, not counting.
Last year, my son bought me a lilac bush for Mothers' Day - the idea was to hide the view of the pink sink. Six weeks later at his graduation party, he offered to steal the pink sink. In their inebriated state, his friends would help him take it away late in the evening. I said absolutely NOT. What if they got caught? I have to live next to these people so that would suck. Right after his graduation party, he moved to the west coast. He came home the week of Memorial Day for vacation and he noticed the pink sink, looked at me and said, "I would have gotten rid of that, but you wouldn't let me, remember?" Yes, I remember.
The neighbor on the other side of me noticed the pink sink. She is pretty particular, so I'm not surprised. She asked me, "What's with the sink?" OK, she said countertop but I prefer sink. When I told her how long it was there, she seemed more annoyed than I was.
It's like a redneck backyard, the pallets piled up, the old bricks in a toppled stack, the half-opened bags of sand, none of that matters, just that damn sink. I know it's not rational, but I love sitting outside to enjoy the view, how green and lush everything is and then there's that pink sink.
Saturday, June 27
Toby meets a toad
I took Toby out for the usual Saturday morning walk around the yard. There happens to be a black toad living by the roses so I thought it would be fun to see how the curiosity of a cat behaves around this newly discovered creature. Toby loves to check out the critters who live in the yard, it's always entertaining.
As he approached the toad, Toby put out his paw to touch the creature, next thing I knew the cat was shaking his head from side-to-side while flinging his saliva everywhere. He was foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. From trying to get rid of it, the foamy saliva was wrapped all around his head to where he looked like he was slimed like in Ghostbusters.
I immediately got some paper towels, wet them down and wiped all the saliva off the cat. He was pretty uncomfortable but he settled down once I cleaned off his tongue. I quickly googled the toad to discover that they shoot venom as protection from predators. The venom makes the victim uncomfortable, but is basically harmless in the long run. Well he was pretty uncomfortable all right.
I felt so bad that I could have harmed my little kitty. Toby is so friendly and harmless and I thought it would be fun to watch is gentle curiosity in action. Thank goodness he is OK.
As he approached the toad, Toby put out his paw to touch the creature, next thing I knew the cat was shaking his head from side-to-side while flinging his saliva everywhere. He was foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. From trying to get rid of it, the foamy saliva was wrapped all around his head to where he looked like he was slimed like in Ghostbusters.
I immediately got some paper towels, wet them down and wiped all the saliva off the cat. He was pretty uncomfortable but he settled down once I cleaned off his tongue. I quickly googled the toad to discover that they shoot venom as protection from predators. The venom makes the victim uncomfortable, but is basically harmless in the long run. Well he was pretty uncomfortable all right.
I felt so bad that I could have harmed my little kitty. Toby is so friendly and harmless and I thought it would be fun to watch is gentle curiosity in action. Thank goodness he is OK.
Stuck in a moment
I don't know why it is, but I just can't seem to make a decision. I should be planning a vacation, planning a rummage sale, and taking some random days off to get things done around the house but I can't even pick a day to take off. I don't know what's the matter with me. Is this a result of living a grief-filled life? This lack of decision-making increases my angst which is already too much. Even writing is tough, but it's supposed to be helpful in the grieving process. I don't see how. The thing is, I don't know that I want to move on. It feels like moving on would mean letting go of our sweet little baby and I will never let go. I don't see any options. Maybe there is a different version of normal that I have to learn to live with and this is it. A life filled with indecision and stuck in a vacuum. The one thing I do wish is that I could dream in color again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
